I finally had the opportunity to watch Iyanla’s Fix My Life (And I loved it…shed a few tears too) the other day. I believe that there was a marathon, but, sadly I only got through about an episode and a half before I had to force myself to return to my studies. The only full episode that I was able to watch was the one with Syleena Johnson, an R&B singer, who had a broken relationship with not only her mother, but her father as well.
Syleena felt bullied by her mother and abandoned by her father, who she says rarely spent time with her and her sisters for the better part of their lives. Initially, Iyanla was not able to get through to the mother nor the father in communicating to them how their daughters really feel about them. However, eventually she broke some ground.
With one statement that she made, Iyanla was able to get the mother to stop considering only her own feelings for a bit and start considering how her daughter feels and felt when she was a child as a result of her toxic behavior as a parent.
What she said not only affected Syleena’s mother, but made me think. Iyanla said that as a mother and a parent it is important to not only consider the relationship that you have with your child(ren), but also the perception of what your child thinks your relationship is like.
Relationships with your children start even before birth, so it is important t begin to foster a healthy relationship very early on. Everyday these relationships need nurturing. Which means, you have to take the time to understand your child; understand their actions, how they think, how they want to be treated, etc. You spend a lot of time with your child, sure less and less as they get older and become more independent, but if you take the time while you can to get to know them like no one else will then you can avoid a lot of problems down the road.
Communication is key just like with any other relationship. Talk to your kids. Be the one who they ALWAYS come to with anything. Don’t be afraid to be completely open and honest because that will help your children trust you better and want to share things with you.
Right now my mom and I are super duper close and that’s because we share everything with each other. Next to her my boyfriend is the only person who knows me to the T and I love this type of relationship. Growing up, children don’t need to know every single thing (because you’re grown and they’re not entitled to all your business), but make them feel comfortable enough so that they’ll want to share everything with you. Doing this will ensure that the relationship that you think you have it the same one that they actually perceive you two as having.
Any thoughts? Share ’em with me!
- EXCLUSIVE: Syleena Johnson Talks Emotional Appearance on ‘Iyanla, Fix My Life’ (essence.com)
- WATCH: Two Words This Broken Daughter Needs To Hear From Her Mother (huffingtonpost.com)